Friday, February 28, 2014

Roller Coaster Ride in the 20's

A lot of people in their early, middle and mostly late 20's say such things like "I don't know what I want to do or be" or "i am still discovering myself...blah,blah,blah" to a certain extent and go through series of internal changes whether they like it or not.

Yes, any form or type of experimentation in all fields of life including, dating, careers, jobs, family, etc go through influx of ups and downs and ins and outs that usually results in the individual understanding a basic idea of what they would like versus what they do not like in their lives and this is usually discovered by age 25. Meaning, by age 25 an average person would have finished college, gained some form of internship, jobs, exposure to certain fields of interest and so on. The more exposure to new experiences; the better you have learnt about yourself and how you react/deal/handle situations that life throws at you.

Then the most difficult part of being your twenties comes to everyone; and I mean everyone - even to those who seems to have their act together. Ultimately; the pressure takes in the forms of most of your friends getting married, having babies, settling down, gaining serious and long term employment, etc.

The hardest part about all this information and natural progression of changes is what is asked or expected from people in their 20's. What does one do with all this knowledge about themselves, what they learned from colleges and from life, or other individuals and it always come down to making a decision. The most important thing anybody can learn in their 20's is the ability to make hard decisions for themselves and follow through on it.


It is the ultimate test of transitioning from your childhood days to full fledged adulthood that requires total personal accountability of the life you wish to lead. This creates a lot of self doubt, mental and emotional breakdowns and depression in a general sense. Mainly because 20 somethings are encouraged to go wild, experiment their hearts out; go spend a month in a resort...but reality will always be waiting for you to make those choices when you come back; decisions that will matter in the future and long term.

Making hard decisions means you need to get your head right on all fronts. It means that you also have to make sacrifices and have to understand if those sacrifices are worth it. It means understanding the gap that is between reality and your idealized version of life you have for yourself and finding a middle ground. Those that only seek to get their ideal situation, ideal husband/wife, ideal job without making any concessions are usually smacked hard by reality and this can create a victim mentality if the person was never strong enough to accept reality of their situations.

With all that is said and done; the choices are always right in front of you. The stress of making a wrong decision is more about fear of regret later down the road. But what is worse than a wrong decision is indecision. By indecision; you are paralyzed, stuck, in a rut with no room for growth. At least wrong decisions sometimes will point you to the right ones after you learn from the mistakes.

Some people cannot handle the pressures and they sell out to doing what their friends or family are doing. This is also a cop out. Not having the courage to follow your own path or if you do not already have one; creating that path that is uniquely you, requires committment to be true to your own struggles and fears. Learning to shoulder your own suffering and troubles without complaining and bitching or blaming. All this leads to what's called maturity.


Growth is painful, change is painful, but nothing is more painful than being stuck where you know, deep in your soul, you don't belong.

Sd/-
Roohul haq


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