House Hunt

Let me write a prose that most of you would identify with ...It's the search for a Home

I'm surely going to get exhausted one day,
Searching for a house, I will pass away

Worn out by day long search up and down the road,
Torn by the hunger-pangs my belly made uproar

Big was my belly what could I do ,my friends ?
How could I help it, I was short of funds.

Buying a watermelon I moved towards my destination,
A stumble on the road proved a lucky stroke.

All at once ,my night of sorrow changed to a sunny day,
As the melon fell and broke , a Jinn showed his face...

"I am your humble slave," with folded hands he spoke,
"Any tasks impossible I can undertake"

"I can change at your bidding the world's very shape "
 I can make you, if you like,the manager of the Mindscape.

"I can turn trivial joke into a poetic feast"
 Turn a poet into poetess with my clever sleight

 Even in the night of sin,you will bath in sunny rays,
 You will reap the harvest ,while the pujari prays.

 I am not a man to conspire with the foe,
 I can elevate a fool , make him rule the globe.

 Let the time wince and whine,seize the fleeting pleasure
 Here, clutch in your hand the keys of Kohinoor( not Bang Bang version) treasure...

"I don't want the earthly riches", humbly I replied,
"Get me,pray,a house to live,I shall be obliged "

 Hearing this the Jinn back into the melon slipped,
"Strange",he said,"Everyone is caught in a similar fix"

"Could I conjure up a house, I would not shiver in cold,
 Why should I have lived then in the melon hole...

hehehe

Sd/-
Roohul Haq


 

Knowing your Emotions –A guide to self awareness

One of the most intriguing facts of life is how much we are aware of ourselves. This led me to formulate some of the simple steps that can be implemented to understand our emotions and become more self aware…

A key aspect of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is knowing your emotions, allowing yourself to feel them, and expressing them appropriately.

A second key area is knowing your values. Your values are the attitudes, beliefs, opinions and experiences that govern how you behave. Your values shape the choices you make every day, and you're either in or out of alignment with them. Your values are always a function of your life experiences, so another good activity is to write your life's history. Now I'm not talking a novel, but a couple of pages listing key experiences that have shaped who you are, professionally and personally. You might consider your family life, your education, your cultural heritage, major successes and failures, traumatic events, and your hopes and aspirations.

The third key component is assessing your skills. Your professional life requires you to tap into a wide variety of functional and technical skills. Skills are foundational such as, time management, building relationships, and communicating effectively. And many skills are specific to your job, function or industry like finance, design, or teaching.

A good way to determine which skills you need is to look at your job description and performance review. This will give you a list of major skill areas and perhaps even an assessment of your skill level. You want to identify where you're exceptional, acceptable and in need of improvement. Another great tool is to use the assessment affiliated with the Strengths Finder books. It provides and affordable and well-rounded view of various skills.

 A fourth key component is your communication style. We all have preferred ways of communicating that fall on a continuum ranging from indirect, or even passive, through to assertive and direct, and all the way over to aggressive. We also have communication patterns. Some people share information in a linear point by point fashion, where others use a circular style that weaves together information to arrive at the main point. 

The fifth theory to explore is your work style, knowing how you approach work, and how your approach affects, and is affected by your colleagues, is really valuable. One of my favorite tools is the DiSC Assessment. It's really helpful when members of a team take it together.

The sixth key component is your personality or temperament. This is not how nice or outgoing you are, but is based on research in psychology and measures how you view and approach the world. Again, there's some assessments for this. The two most prominent being the Myers Briggs Type Indicator and the Keirsey Temperament Sorter .Both will give you an understanding of how you process information, make decisions, work with others, and organize your life.

Seventh, we all have a conflict style, which is how we approach conflict that's a combination of our assertiveness and our commitment to cooperation. I recommend the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument to assess your conflict style. You'll learn how you score on the five styles of conflict and the best style to use in different situations.

The last major component is your leadership style. This is your philosophy and approach for how you lead others. There are lots of models out there, but my two favorites are The Leadership Practices Inventory, which is affiliated with the book The Leadership Challenge by Kouzes and Posner and the Situational Leadership model by Ken Blanchard that's affiliated with the book Leading at a Higher Level. There're other aspects of yourself to explore, but I consider these the core eight, as they relate to our professional work.

Building this knowledge of yourself is not something you can do overnight, so pace yourself. Pick a couple of things to explore first, and then go from there. You'll also change over time, so self-exploration is a life long journey, and a rather fun one at that.

Sd/-

Roohul Haq

 

Waste of Talent !

Recognising the wastes of Talent can be one of the greatest opportunities for organisation to improve performance. This is food for thought and I want to dissect the issues pertaining to this phenomenon

How is the organisation changing the rules of their expectations ? Is organisation looking for new ways to accomplish more with fewer resources ? With all the challenges, how does the organisation view the capabilites of employees ? Does it see the waste of people's abilities as part of the solution?

If people are mostly conducting business as usual,improvements will be limited.New strategies are hindered by misaligned efforts.A small portion of people are engaged to drive success.So why then do workplaces waste talent and abilities to such a large degree ?

In many organisations, the typical work roles are still relatively narrow in scope and focus on precise tasks instead of what people could contribute.In addition,leadership structures are designed to keep power and authority to a few, with everyone else having little of either.Beyond the mindset of leadership,processes need to be created to channel more of what people can deliver in a work day.

A pragmatic approach to put a structure across lean priniciples will help organisations appreciate the types of abilities that are commonly wasted while providing many of the processes that direct these abilities.
Let us look at the hidden causes ( much like the hidden factory in manufacturing) that will decipher how we can prevent waste of Talent

1. Work roles limit people by design ; Most people can do so much more!
Organisations put people in cross functional problem-solving teams and find many employees possess tremendous leadership skills that have gone unnoticed when they spend most of their time making products or handling goods with little interaction. It's not just a matter of rare abilities that could be uncovered, but that a significant number of people can lead,generate ideas,make decisions & perform other roles.
2. Power is limited to only a few people
The comfort of assigning power to a few is deeply ingrained and restricts much of the talent or abilities that could make a significant difference.With so much wasted ability,it becomes obvious that this situation provides some benefit to those in leadership roles.why?Managers often believe that they are in leadership roles because they think better,solve problems better and have more ability than those they lead.
3. People are reluctant to do more work
Have we asked this basic question "why do people/employees not participate more fully in most endeavors"? A familier response could be "people do not want to do any more than they are paid for in their jobs" -The discretionery effort in HR Parlance.A prevalent assumption exists that people could do more ,but they don't want to do more.In fairness some of this is true.Another notion is that
managers feel if they are the part of some problem solving exercise,they invariably would end up
solving it at their discretionery effort and time(with or without the help of reportees)...and workload would increase
4.Channeling abilities creates new work
People are generally afraid of doing something new often because they are afraid of failing.Beyond problems with common attitudes,many workplaces lack the processes needed to manage the output of people's abilities.The problem with allowing people to contribute more is that those activities create more activities and even more activities
5.There is no assigned cost to people working at lower capacity
The massive waste of people's abilities means that most organisations achieve only a fraction of what they could accomplish.The acceptance of this situation is notably reflected in the lack of any reference to or concern about the unused capacity of the workforce.Most assets of the business are assessed in terms of capacity ,such as building or equipment utilisation. However management teams rarely discuss the percentage of peoples abilities being utilised each day.

The spirit of Lean is based on the vision that each worker is greater than the sum of his or her tasks and is capable of solving systemic problems of the organisation ,generating improved methods of operating, and working with other people in ways that generate better results over time.

Sd/-
Roohul Haq
 

Potential Isn't Everything ?

I have always been tempted to understand the euphoria regarding potential assessment in organisation. So to make this clear, we dissect the essence of Talent strategy & management and unplug this mystery ...

 

One of the biggest overarching mistakes we see People managers and their organizations make is confusing performance, potential and readiness. It’s important to understand that each has a distinct definition:

·         Performance is how one is performing now in his or her current role.

·         Potential is one’s likelihood of leadership growth.

·         Readiness is one’s fit with a specific role, job, or job family.

 

Confusing these three concepts can lead to disastrous decisions about talent. Those who perform effectively in one job won’t necessarily succeed in a job at the next level. Those with potential need to be developed. And even those who have been identified as having potential and have benefited from development may still not be ready to take on a challenging role or job.

Let us look at this from an Olympic gymnastics coach perspective on what it takes to spot potential in young gymnasts. She looks for traits such as attitude and mental toughness in girls who are still years away from competing at the highest levels. Similarly, in business, when looking to identify those with leadership potential, it’s not current performance that matters (though current performance must be the starting point for identifying potential) as much as what sort of leader an individual is capable of growing into in the future.

Unfortunately, just 34 percent of companies feel that they are effective at identifying those with potential to lead early in their careers, yet those that do perform better. Common mistakes include:

·          Focusing on current performance alone

·          Inconsistent criteria

·          Unchallenged perspectives and opinions

·          “Promote your own” strategies

·          Singular focus on strengths (no consideration of leadership  derailers)

·           Identification without subsequent diagnosis of development  needs

Taking into account the critical differences between potential, performance and readiness, it’s our job to make sure the organization is doing an effective job of identifying those with the most leadership potential. Because resources (i.e.time, money, development opportunities) are always in finite supply, we have to be diligent about investing those resources in that small segment of our organization’s leaders—typically no more than 10 percent of the leader population that represents the greatest future payoff for the organization.

There are two different reasons to assess leaders:

1)      For potential and

2)      For readiness (performance is best ascertained by gathering performance feedback)

 When an individual is assessed for potential- the assessment will look at a number of factors, including: learning agility, drive and commitment, critical thinking, risk taking, perseverance, interpersonal savvy, receptivity to feedback, and propensity to lead. If individuals display these factors, there is a better chance they will succeed as they move up the leadership ladder.

 

Assessment of readiness- on the other hand, is done against the Success Profile for a specific role (e.g CFO, VP Marketing). This assessment provides a prediction or signal that someone is capable of moving into a specific role or position and succeeding.

 There is tremendous value in each of these assessments, as they both provide the objective data needed to understand current talent capability and gaps. This is why many highly effective organizations use both- using assessment for potential to focus on growth and assessment for readiness to inform promotion and placement decisions.

 

Plus, it’s far more effective than relying on being able to “spot” those who are ready for key jobs right now or those who can be developed to step into those jobs in the future.

 

So the interesting question is"Are we hyping the Potential Assessment too much"?

 

Sd/-

Roohul Haq

Playing to your strength at work ? or Playing it Safe ?

Let me get into the root of our socio economic profile status --our job profiles and reflect on the changes that would be foreseen in the future

We look at the scenario tracing back to the schooling that we had years ago. At the school you were taught that if you were good,did what you were told to do and worked hard,your education would get you a job.Then at your work ,if you did what your boss wanted you to do and put in the hours,you may get promoted and a few may make it all the way to the top.For the last 150 years this parable worked well ,but the rules have since changed

Now,successful organisations need people who know which rules to break to create value.There is more emphasis on thinking differently,being creative and leading.The trouble is, the school did not teach you to do that well.In fact, you were taught the opposite;do what you are told and give the right answers-if you had different ideas,it was best to keep them to yourself.

The school system was created in the mid 19th century(1860's) to support the increasing demand of factory workers.For what seemed like forever,organisations needed compliant workers to deliver their plans and the schools delivered them.But the business of today need different skills.If your job can be broken into series of steps(and it probably can in all cases) then you can be replaced.There is somebody there to do your job for less money.

You were also told - you needed to be good at everything and to fix your weaknesses.Now we know that all great leaders are not good at everything,but instead are outstanding in few key areas.Would you put Usain bolt in the olympics marathon to give him a development opportunity or tell Ronaldo to be the goalkeeper for the world cup finals ??

Managers in sports create a team based on the strengths of the individual members. So why do managers in organisations insist on developing weaknesses that their staff have, in skills that don't matter ?

It kills passion and takes people away from what they are best at. "Refer the blog on Motivational talent" which drives this point.

When in times of economic challenges,when there is more to do,with less resources,we need people playing to their strengths not wasting time trying to be good at skills that they will never need to use.

As a result of the industrial revolution needs, maths language and the sciences were the only things that mattered and school reflected that. Now more than ever, we also need creativity,diversity, curiosity and humanity...

The safe world is ending, where being good and working hard is enough to pay the mortgage. There are no safe jobs anymore. There,is however, a new world emerging that is far more exciting and enjoyable. A world where you get to use your innate skills you are best at, and perform to your full potential in the areas that matter most to you...

Your industry is experiencing massive change,your job and organisation is not safe,so you need to play to your strengths to stay ahead...

The paradox of work in the new world :- The only way to be safe,is to avoid playing it safe

Sd/-
Roohul Haq


 

Social Enterprise Evolution - Need of the Hour

Writing an analogy about the socialising habits using Facebook , Twitter , Whatsapp, Linked IN and Skype in the personal space and comparing it with the socialising we do at our workspace...an interesting topic to ponder further

Everyone who works in a corporation deals with the same issue - how to drive revenue and increase the bottom line ( and cohesively preserve the cash). Afterall - Revenue is Vanity, Profits are sanity and Cash is a reality. That means higher productivity,better business processes,faster decision making,fewer meetings,less travel, less e-mail,and less time wasted...

CEOs and CIOs have tried to deliver business value by spending massive amounts of money and time selecting exactly the right technology for their organisations. This worked for a while.The entire industry got really good at automating tonnes of business processes with layers of management ,protocols and silos-pulling every bit of cost imaginable out of the business.But though
we have spent billions of dollars (and time) and become at automating the enterprise,we have overlooked something critically important...

Consider the fact that the business is spending 70% of their annual operating budget on their people..

Yet what have we done for them ? The vast majority of employees still work with old tools and slow bureaucratic ,time sucking processes,which require countless meetings ( and e-mails floating up and down).In some research it was found that people waste 28 hours per week doing mindless tasks like responding to e-mails ,searching for information, collating reports and sitting on irrelevant meetings ....

Why wouldn't we want to make an investment in our most important asset --- our people ?

The most important question to ask is ---HOW can we bridge the gap between the way people now communicate and engage in their personal lives and the way they work everyday ?

The new workforce ( 90%) is SOCIAL. They grew up on Facebook,LinkedIN,Skype,Whatsapp and Twitter.They are used to getting instant responses from their networks via IM and group texts...
EMAILS ,however is an ancient Tool.Younger workers do not relate to the polished english literature of the past generation..They do not know how to set up --let alone check ---voice mail when the light flashes on the desk phone.They are mobile...Smatphone adoption is faster than any other major technology shift, including television,the internet,e-mail and even radio...

They live in the cloud ,they need information whenever and wherever they are across all their devices. Who has the time or inclination to be chained to a workstation ? They do not want to use an e-mail system thats 40 years old,an ERP system thats 25 years old , a CRM application thats 15 years old .

It is time to turn the TITANIC.The enterprise is replatforming due to the convergence of the cloud,
mobile,big data & social. Its changing the way work gets done---forever.Social enterprise platforms that combine these technologies are drastically transforming business cultures and creating business Value...
Instead of just servers and network systems connecting ,in the new world of work,people,placesand content are now connecting to work better.When employees can navigate this information,get personalised results and consult the social graph to find more relevant information,they can spend more time doing what they love----and get paid to do it ! Instead of wasting time,they can work more,code more,develop more,sell more,market more and innovate faster....

THE BUSINESS VALUE OF SOCIAL IS REAL...

I have always believed ( and dreamt) that the social era will be the most important transformation that happens in the enterprise...But untill now we have heard too much talk about social for social's sake.Today we have turned the page on the social software in the enterprise. Its not just about FUN;its just not about the TECHNOLOGY; and its not Facebook for the enterprise.

You need to know why you are using social technologies and platforms to grow revenue,increase profitability and spur innovation. If done right ,social will become the mission critical technology in any business.

Forward-thinking enterprises recognise that to advance and engage the new workforce,you can't use old tools to do new things.Every company in this modern era has to learn how to retool around social,mobile,big data and cloud ,unlock the silos and break down the barriers. Hundreds of companies have already started on this journey using social business tools to create value.These companies were once in the exact place where we are today...

We are still at the beginning of the social enterprise evolution. But the rising tides of the new workforce cannot be ignored. We deserve business systems that unlock creativity and human potential.We are right on the cusp of changing the way work gets done...

I am already gung -ho about this transformation

Sd/-
Roohul Haq

Relationship between Motivation and Talent

Hydrogen and oxygen are distinctly different elements, but sometimes they combine to form water. Something similar is true for motivation and talent.

Motivation is what we LIKE to do naturally.  Talent is what we DO well naturally.  They can exist independently, but when they combine, they create something special.  They create
motivated talents.

People often are naturally good at something (talented), but it just doesn’t turn them on.  For example, Hema is good with numbers, but she doesn’t go out of her way to find tasks calling
for that talent.  Most people have such talents.  But then there are those talents that we really enjoy using.  These are the motivated talents, and this is where the magic is.

We use motivated talents every chance we get.  Most of the time we don’t even think about it.  For example, Harish has a motivated talent for conversation, and he naturally engages both friends and
strangers in dialog.  He doesn’t consciously determine to do so; it just happens.  It’s natural and unforced.  He enjoys it, and he’s good at it.  That’s the hallmark of a motivated talent.

Motivated talents tend to be irrepressible.  They find expression. In fact, if you’ve ever tried to stifle a motivated talent (either yours or someone else’s) it probably felt like you were trying
to hold two dozen ping pong balls under water at the same time. Motivated talents pop out, even if no one else is asking for them. And doesn’t that make sense?  After all, it’s what we do well AND enjoy.

Well then, wouldn’t the ideal job be one where you can use your motivated talents daily and get paid for it?  Absolutely!  But more on that later.

Sd/-

Roohul Haq

Who is a Leader ?

Want to have some fun?  

Go to the book section of Amazon.com, enter the keyword "leadership" and see how many hits you get.

The last time I did this I got over 18,200 hits. Eighteen thousand two hundred! Why is there so much material on this one subject?
The law of supply and demand would say it is because people are buying it. But I suspect there are other, more subtle reasons.
One of those reasons is the underlying belief that leadership can be taught. With enough training, anybody can be a leader. The theory
is that leaders are made, not born. Or are they?

The other day a woman told me that she sees definite leadership traits in her son. I asked her how old he was. "Six," she replied. Too
young to have been through any leadership training. So are leaders born or made? The answer is both.

The problem is that we often get fuzzy about what can and cannot be taught, and at the heart of the fuzziness is the difference between
talent and skill.

Talent is what we do well naturally. It is our bent. Talents are inborn, and can be discovered and developed. They cannot be taught.

However, skills can. Skills are simply how to do something. They are learned and transferable. When we confuse talent and skill, we set ourselves
up for disappointing expectations from training.

What does this have to do with developing leaders? Everything. For example, the ability to create vision and strategy is a key leadership
trait. Some people have a talent for it. They do it naturally and continually. Others don’t. Both can learn some skills that will help them do it better.

The difference is that the one with the corresponding talent can be excellent at it, while the other one can be adequate at best. Talent is required for excellence.

Who wants more "adequate" leaders?

Here’s the bottom line for developing your leadership potential: become the leader you are designed to be. Discover your natural
motivational talents, and build on them. Volunteer for assignments and training that complement your natural giftedness. Get on the
track to excellence by aligning your development with your talents.

There are all types of leaders. Some rouse and inspire. Some organize.  Some are strategic, and some tactical. Some spot opportunities, and
some protect against disaster. All are needed in this world of ours.

What’s the best type of leader to be? The type you were designed to be.

Sd/-
Roohul Haq

Pedh --Poetry

  An amalgamation of thoughts from my HRLW experience on April 30. GSS HR team inspired me to plough these on the field.

मेरा घर का आँघण कितना फैला और बडा था
जिसमे मेरे सारे खेल सम्मा जाते थे
और घर के सामने था वो पेड़
कि  जो मुझसे काफी ऊंचा था

लेकिन मुझको इसका यकीन था
जब मैं बड़ा हो जाऊंगा ,इस पेड़ की ऊंचाइयों को छू जाऊंगा
इतने बरसों में
हर गली में खेला हूँ
दुनिया घूम आया हूँ
ज़िन्दगी के तपिश में कहीं ग़ुम हो गया हूँ

बरसों बाद लौटा हूँ , अपने घर के दवार पर
आँघण कुछ छोटा हो गया है
पेड़ मगर पहले से भी कुछ ऊँचा हैं
 

What is your Life's purpose ?

Let us look at a very different topic today. This endearing question lingers among all of us..." How to know my Life's purpose ? " " What is my Life's purpose ? "Interesting mystic question to find an answer to, isn't it ?

If you happen to ask many citizens about what they find endearing in a life journey, I bet 80 % of them would probably say that they wished had been leading a more happier and fulfilling life .

We find this as an astounding discovery. Why is this the case ? 
Why should human beings given the god's gift of socializing,thinking,collaborating,loving,empathising etc be leading unhappy lives?

The most common refrain that you can hear is " I have wasted my life and am half way through it ".I do not know what my life is all about ?

So let us now look at people who have led astounding lives (20%)and gauge for answers through them.When you look at their (20% happier citizens) path of progress, i found an amazing discovery that they knew something about their life purpose,because they knew 5 things...

1. Who they were ?
2. What they did ?
3. Who did they do it for ? well those people wanted or needed ?
4. What they got out of it ? 
5. How did they change as a result ?

Everyone has been amazed about the topic and there has been a deluge of books written on life's purpose by umpteen number of sages,authors,spiritual seekers, novelists etc.Its as simple as those 5 questions ,as it gets....

So in the next 10 minutes, let's figure out our "life's purpose" by answering the following question together.
1. Who are you ?   ---- Roohul Haq

2. What do you do ? ---- I am into people development. To help myself and others be the best they can be.

Note : " focus on what is one of the supremely qualified skill you like to teach or do " while answering this question

3. Who you do it for ? ---- For myself,employees in the corporate world, community and 
underprivileged society

4. What do they want or need from you ?  --- Privileged consultant to advice and counsel about their development needs, future career , skill development and continuous learning.

5. How do they change as a result for what you give them ? ---- They become supremely confident Leaders and Managers who can take decisive actions for the betterment of  corporation /society. They create employment opportunities for the next generation.

So, here you go ! Take a shot at the above questions and find your life's purpose in a jiffy... cool isn't it ? I have answered mine, you have the next 10 minutes on your watch ...tick tick tick...

Sd/-
Roohul Haq

Creative Inspiration

A wonderful poem for the uninhibited creative force in you (and me)

Creation is an enigma,
Making paths unknown,
Staring at obscure spaces...

When you express yourself,
Always choose the active voice,
Energy is more stronger and intense,
when you choose to create with conviction...

Energy that is active is felt better,
than an energy that is passive,
It is the frequency and vibration,
that the universe responds,

If you create works of art,
piece of writing,
piece of anything that is you,
create with such boom,
that everybody will stop and notice...

Do not fear ridicule or shame,
as there will always be people,
who will understand your voice ,
and your energy...

Just go with the flow,
Make your own masterpieces,
And live the creation...

Sd/-
Roohul Haq

Deep Dive-Self Worth

A deeper look at the way we energise our "self worth " 

Self worth is intrinsic; meaning everyone has it and born with it. So it becomes more of an internal process of recognizing your own self worth. To recognize your own self worth; your relationship with your own self has to be analyzed. How you see yourself on a fundamental level as a person when all definitions of who you think you are is stripped away. Self worth resides in your core essence of who you are and does not attach itself to the roles and identities that we take on in life.

What's left is the bare bones of who you are; an individual that is born to enjoy and experience life. I do think in order to recognize our worth we do have to see humans and ourselves from a positive and higher point of view. it is much difficult to understand self worth if you operate and see yourself from a low self esteem or negative perspective of who you are.

 That's why I think its essential to strip away all you think you are and just recognize that you are a spirit having a third dimensional experience. Personally for me; I tend to look at it from a spiritual perspective because it just makes sense to me; but others can also have great self worth without spiritual connotations.

Self worth is also what's left standing when all things in our lives go wrong or we experience breakdowns or difficult challenges in life. if all things that you hold on to dearly is stripped away and you are left with nothing but your dignity, integrity and self worth - a person with a sense of self worth would still feel that life is worth living.

Would still feel that he or she is worthy of happiness and success and not get attached to the failures or the difficulties. So in a sense; self worth gives the person the ability to feel a sense of being ok regardless of what life throws at them. It is a grounding feeling and it gives a lot of strength and resolve to the person in times of difficulty.

Sd/-
Roohul Haq

The need to be right ?

An outlook on our daily interactions and how we perceive our thoughts to be right always ?

90% of any type of discussion or arguments seems to be centered on how the messages and ideas are being conveyed and expressed than the actual message itself.

I notice this all the time with others and people i tend to have arguments or discussions with. It makes me wonder if the human brain is more wired to receive information that is presented in a manner that emotionally resonates with the person on receiving end. If it does not emotionally register then the information is not accepted into the person's inner sphere even if the information can be useful. 

Lawyers seems to be an expert at delivering terrible or negative information in a positive light or in a way that triggers emotional response forcing the person to abandon the actual message and only focus on "how" the message itself makes the person feel. This could allude to the fact that an actual logical and rational discussion without personal emotional response is impossible in most humans unless you are Spock from the Vulcan planet.

Views and expressions that provoke our own inner belief systems shed light on where we stand with our views. Opposing views shows the boundary of our beliefs and forces us to consider if our views are limiting and if we can do more to expand our consciousness by acknowledging opposite views. Things get more tricky because the Ego is always working as a guard - trying to filter out information and outside threats that can threaten the comfort zones we all build within ourselves. 

The main tool the Ego uses to gain the upper hand is the need to be right. The need to be right narrows the possibilities for expansion because the Ego only serves to protect the host individual and intent on keeping the status quo.

Real acceptance and expansion seems to arrive when we stop identifying with our Ego to be right and look beyond the restrictions and oppositions and accept all that is. This is challenging because being accepting of others views that may oppose our views can feel like we are not standing by our argument and views. 

Nobody likes to feel like their views and opinions do not matter. But there is also a darker feeling of satisfaction to discredit others views in favor of your own views. This is an internal trap; because the emotion of being right still reigns; making the person less objective and more about personal gain.

There is a lot of room and expansion to play around with when people give up their own need to be right. The emotions that accompany the need to be right is an aphrodisiac that even the most learned men and women can fall prey to.

          Sd/-
          Roohul Haq
           

Random thoughts of the narrator

Random thoughts on seclusion and creativity, how these can be a potent force for insightful masterpieces...

It's an amazing world out there
Making every moment live thee
The chaos is untangled with ease
If you have seclusion thee

To be creative is to be a loner
To sit quietly in seclusion
Away from all distractions
Just listening to your own breathing
Observing your own thoughts
Never judging; but allowing
You get to know yourself

Maybe it is the first time you met yourself
Or the many times you knocked
On the door of your soul
seeking answers and guidance...

To make sense of what you feel
and why you feel it
Consuming you
Into greater depths of your soul...

It seems this place always existed
Never outside of yourself
Always within
Whispering smooth encouraging words
Guiding you with no duress...

You find a small morsel of spark
Enough to fuel you into
an abyss of creativity...

Let this random thought merry thee
Live in the hearts of the narrator Ji...

Sd/-
Roohul Haq

Roller Coaster Ride in the 20's

A lot of people in their early, middle and mostly late 20's say such things like "I don't know what I want to do or be" or "i am still discovering myself...blah,blah,blah" to a certain extent and go through series of internal changes whether they like it or not.

Yes, any form or type of experimentation in all fields of life including, dating, careers, jobs, family, etc go through influx of ups and downs and ins and outs that usually results in the individual understanding a basic idea of what they would like versus what they do not like in their lives and this is usually discovered by age 25. Meaning, by age 25 an average person would have finished college, gained some form of internship, jobs, exposure to certain fields of interest and so on. The more exposure to new experiences; the better you have learnt about yourself and how you react/deal/handle situations that life throws at you.

Then the most difficult part of being your twenties comes to everyone; and I mean everyone - even to those who seems to have their act together. Ultimately; the pressure takes in the forms of most of your friends getting married, having babies, settling down, gaining serious and long term employment, etc.

The hardest part about all this information and natural progression of changes is what is asked or expected from people in their 20's. What does one do with all this knowledge about themselves, what they learned from colleges and from life, or other individuals and it always come down to making a decision. The most important thing anybody can learn in their 20's is the ability to make hard decisions for themselves and follow through on it.

It is the ultimate test of transitioning from your childhood days to full fledged adulthood that requires total personal accountability of the life you wish to lead. This creates a lot of self doubt, mental and emotional breakdowns and depression in a general sense. Mainly because 20 somethings are encouraged to go wild, experiment their hearts out; go spend a month in a resort...but reality will always be waiting for you to make those choices when you come back; decisions that will matter in the future and long term.

Making hard decisions means you need to get your head right on all fronts. It means that you also have to make sacrifices and have to understand if those sacrifices are worth it. It means understanding the gap that is between reality and your idealized version of life you have for yourself and finding a middle ground. Those that only seek to get their ideal situation, ideal husband/wife, ideal job without making any concessions are usually smacked hard by reality and this can create a victim mentality if the person was never strong enough to accept reality of their situations.

With all that is said and done; the choices are always right in front of you. The stress of making a wrong decision is more about fear of regret later down the road. But what is worse than a wrong decision is indecision. By indecision; you are paralyzed, stuck, in a rut with no room for growth. At least wrong decisions sometimes will point you to the right ones after you learn from the mistakes.

Some people cannot handle the pressures and they sell out to doing what their friends or family are doing. This is also a cop out. Not having the courage to follow your own path or if you do not already have one; creating that path that is uniquely you, requires committment to be true to your own struggles and fears. Learning to shoulder your own suffering and troubles without complaining and bitching or blaming. All this leads to what's called maturity.

Growth is painful, change is painful, but nothing is more painful than being stuck where you know, deep in your soul, you don't belong.

Sd/-
Roohul haq

A road journey Ala Life

Just watched the movie " Highway " today and got fascinated to write an analogy on the journey of life....ala " journey on road " 

When there is a huge gap between what we imagine our lives to be and how the reality of our lives actually plays out we feel like we are not living our true lives. This gap is usually self created...

It is self created because in order for anything to manifest in our daily reality it must have a source. The source is often internal. Our beliefs, attitudes, habits and decisions we make all help contribute to this reality we experience. If our daily reality is not in sync with who we are; pain, suffering and feelings of depression can exist. People can get stuck in this phase for a long time; feeling unmotivated and afraid to take charge of their lives...

 Afraid because if one actually starts to take control and lead their lives into a direction that is more in sync with their inherent personality and attitude and ultimately joy; the person is always confronted with the realization that they alone will face the consequences of the decisions they make... 

The life that is created will be starkly different from the lives of the majority and this can create feelings of loneliness and misunderstanding. It is the realization that it is a lone journey; that we are born alone and we die alone. Why not make the best of the situation...

There can be a lot of tugging and pulling from people who think they know better and want to tell you how to live your life. But this is always a misconception because people are naturally threatened by people who choose to follow their own path to fulfillment and happiness. Threatened because you are taking your chances at your life and pushing forward to see what else is there for you. While the majority sit together and bond over the excuses and why they couldn't go out and find their own fulfillment; you are too busy creating your own life....

If all things are internally derived; than the purpose to follow our individual path must come from the belief that you are meant to follow your own path. As long as you hold the belief that you are like everyone else and that you are not unique or special; you will never truly discover your own path. It makes no sense that two people will lead a same life path. The same way no two people share the same DNA; our life paths are very personal to the individual...

Lot of courage and self belief will be needed if a person decides that they will no longer live according to others rules and ideas and start creating from the individual and personal perspective. This also means that you have to get comfortable ruffling people's feathers because the way you live your life will always show to the majority what is possible if a person decides to bet on themselves. This also means that the life you created for yourself will be a direct challenge to those who live a predetermined life that does not cater to the person's individual needs or desires...

A person's willpower and perseverence will be tested; but the rewards of following our individual path gives us a sense of authenticity and we can look ourselves in the mirror and say to ourselves: "I am doing the best I can with what I was given". It's harder to face ourselves when we know the life we lead is not of our own but a creation of external circumstances , all for the purpose of pleasing something outside of ourselves... 

This charade cannot last long; hence everyone is always given a choice at every waking moment to make a change or shift the perspective if we so desire. It is really up to us to make the hero's journey into fulfillment and happiness. Not everyone can appreciate this choice but those who do usually end up more fulfilled and happier....

Lead a Hero's life...

Sd/-
Roohul Haq

Meaning of Self worth and Self confidence

Self confidence is reliant heavily on external accomplishments, level of skills and expertise a person possess, level of success or lack of, in the outside world in relation to the person's ability. This explains why a person cannot ever be fully confident all around in every area of life.

 Always intrigued by the two words , hence some musings on these profound words...

Most often a person will feel confident in one area they are good at and completely not confident in areas they have not mastered. Self confidence ties strongly to self esteem because our ability to make things happen in the world and be a success can increase or lower our level of self esteem. 

Self confidence works as a measuring tool; letting us know where we can improve upon and where we make things happen without so much effort. if a person wishes to raise their self esteem; then embraking on a journey to increase self confidence by mastering a skill level or creating things in the physical world will help.

Self worth is a complete internal acknowledgement of who you are and is always enough a recognition that you are an extension of the cosmos and spirit. Self worth is simple celebration of your eternal soul incarnated. Self worth is an internal acceptance of your own spirit with all it's manifestations; with the good and bad. Self worth and self acceptance can go hand in hand.

 Self worth operates more on the soul level while self confidence operates on the rational act of doing and creating and accomplishing. We get the most sense of accomplishment and joy from our activities when we engage our self worth to our accomplishment. We also feel great joy when others can acknowledge our self worth without focusing on our accomplishments. 
A person feels inauthentic when they are praised for their accomplishment instead of who they really are.

This also explains why a person can achieve a level of success and still feel empty or unworthy of the success. This is a byproduct of not accepting our self worth and only identifying with accomplishments. Having a healthy dose of self worth is the antidote to the external pressure to always perform and accomplish. Humans love being admired for our accomplishments but we are always more fulfilled and feel accepted when we are simply acknowledged for our spirit and who we are.

I love imagining a world where all people know and understood what they are...how powerful, infinite, creative, beautiful, Loving, Whole, they actually are........absolutely perfect...worthy and deserving of only happiness, peace, and joy purely by virtue of being. A perfect state of eternal Grace. A world completely free from fear, guilt, and hurt..from the tyranny of the ego's past. ELE! 


Sd/-
Roohul haq

The psychology of Compassion

As much as I am fascinated by other people's psychology I wonder if I am even more thrilled at studying my own psychology.

 I seem to be able to relate to other's psychology only after I understood the ideas and behaviors within myself. It is the process of relating and what the great spiritual gurus call Oneness. It is not enough for me to just have the intellectual knowledge that all things in the universe is related but the experience of human condition can only be known through the experience of your own condition.

 As an INFJ if there is no real connection based on intuitive knowing I lose interest and place it farther away from my experience. 

The goal of understanding your own psychology in relation to others is to develop compassion for the human condition. A beautiful characteristic of compassion is allowing another human being to have their experience without judgement.

 It is the process of allowing and letting things be without feeling the need to control and manipulate. This can also be reversed and practiced on yourself to attain more objective analysis of your own condition.

I have been obsessed about understanding how humans express compassion. Those who are on a spiritual path as well as those who are in the later stages of life seems to experience it more profoundly. 

And I wonder why this is the case. Why are the youth not be able to extend themselves further and experience compassion towards others who have it easier or harder than ourselves?

 And I do not believe it is youth and lacking in life experience. Compassion seems to be treated the same way creativity is snuffed out of the youth at a very young age. Children demonstrate tremendous amount of compassion, tolerance and creativity from birth - but recent study on children's creativity showed that by age 15 the creativity was measured to be about 7% as opposed to 70% that was measured for children at age 3.

 Not only is creativity diminished by that age but all other aspects that contribute to creativity such as curiosity, altruism, eccentric behaviors and out of the box thinking goes out the window as well. IN a nutshell; the inner child gets locked in a box and put away until further use is needed.

 The slow degeneration of the creative spirit becomes the result and that inner childlike spark gets replaced with structured corporate conditioning with so many limits and restrictions.

sd/-

Roohul Haq